Posts by erin:
Not So Confused Anymore… But Still Need Help
March 13th, 2009In my last post I was confused about why this girl I went out with wouldn’t call me back. Well she did call back and we talked a lot, but we don’t really go out much. I don’t remember if I mentioned this in the last post but at the club we went out to I had asked her if she had a girlfriend and she had told me no, and that night we had made out, and I thought we had a nice time. Since then, we have made out a few more times, then one day when we were talking she had told me that for some reason her girlfriend is coming back from the military after being gone for only a couple of weeks.
I said to her I thought you didn’t have a girlfriend and she said well she’s not really my girlfriend because we broke up when she left. Then she told me she doesn’t know what she’s going to do because her girlfriend is coming back in 2 weeks, and she says she doesn’t want to be with her and that she told her girlfriend that. So she started talking about this girl and how they broke up before the last time and all the problems they have. But then she says she doesn’t want to be with her because she is immature and lists many other reasons. The next day she will then go back to saying how she loves her but she doesn’t want to be with her, but she still says I don’t know, I don’t know, like she can’t make up her mind. Yet I’m not dating her or anything but we make out and stuff and I’ve told her I’m interested in her.
So I told her I want a relationship and that I like her, but she says she doesn’t know till her girlfriend comes back. I said to her why is it you kiss me but then you don’t know what you’re going to do. She said well I do things because I like the person and I like you. So I guess it’s that I don’t understand why she would want to wait and see what to do, if she clearly states I don’t want to be with her anymore but then says she likes me but still can’t decide what she wants to do.
She hasn’t stopped making out with me, and this girl comes back Wednesday which is 6 days away. I don’t want to get hurt and this has happened to me before where the girl decided to go back to the ex. What can I do to let her know that I really like her and would like to date her without getting attached and being let down? This girl makes me feel something I never felt before. My previous relationships it was all about how quick can I get them in bed then get rid of them and move on. With her I don’t want to do that, I mean I could just lie next to her and hold her and I would feel satisfied, when before all my intentions would be to do them and then leave. It’s killing me inside.
A part of me wants to tell her tomorrow that I can’t do this anymore because I don’t want to get hurt, and to give me a call when she realizes I’m good for her. And the other part of me wants to go buy roses and surprise her and tell her how much I want to be with her and to give me a chance.
Any advice would be great thanks.
Help Me, I’m Confused
March 3rd, 2009I just moved to a new city and it’s been really difficult trying to make friends out here. Anyways, the other day at work we got a new manager, who I thought was very hot, so I couldn’t help but to keep glancing at her. And I noticed she was also looking back at me. During the work day she had come up to me and we started talking. I told her I was new here and didn’t really go out much. She then told me about this gay club she and her friends go to (which totally surprised me because she doesn’t look gay at all). I didn’t really say too much about it but like oh, sounds like fun. So I left a little bit after that and went home.
The next day as I was leaving from work she was arriving, but I didn’t say anything to her but Hey. A couple hours later my phone rang and it was her, and she was like I hope you’re not mad I looked up your number on the computer but I was wondering if you’d like to go out with me tonight to the club. I’m not really a clubbing type of person and I can’t dance but I said yes anyways, thinking I will meet new people and she is very hot. So anyways, I met her at her house and we left in her car from there. I was all ready and little buzzed because I was nervous about going out with her so I had a few drinks earlier.
We arrive to club and I immediately have a shot. So we were just kind of talking and having more drinks, and so I asked her if she has a girlfriend and she says no. I’m like that’s good. I forget what we were talking about but she tells me she likes me and I told her I liked her too. Then we go out to the dance floor, I can’t dance, but I had been drinking so I danced anyways. She was like all over me and I was all over her then she kissed me, which was fine with me. Later, we get back in the car and drive back to her place. Before, I get out of the car to go home we started making out and were all up on each other, then a little bit later I went home.
The next day I’m working and she is supposed to come in when I’m leaving but she ends up being late. She calls me while she’s on the way to work and says are you working tonight? I told her no I’m just leaving now, so she says OH I was hoping to see you. Anyways, I get off the phone with her, go run my errands and on my way back I’m passing my work so I go in to say hi. She looked happy to see me and we talked for a little bit then I left. My phone buzzed and she had sent me a message saying “I’m glad you came by I wanted to see you”. Then she said “when I came in it gave her butterflies in her stomach”. Later, I asked if she wanted to stop by when she got off work and she said she’d love too. So I’m like great this should be nice. I’m like: anything in particular you would like to go do? And she’s says I wanna do you.
She texted me back a little bit later and says her sister was going out and couldn’t watch her kid. I’m like that’s okay. She then responds with how about tomorrow. I said sure. So now today is tomorrow and I texted her: hey, I would like to take you out tonight. And it took her an hour and half to respond which she says I’m sorry my phone is acting up but I would love too. I then said how about dinner and a movie. And I got no response so I tried to call her and it just kept a non-stop ringing. So I said to hell with it, and figured I wouldn’t get a phone call back. So now I don’t know what to do I feel stupid or something.
Does anyone have any advice? I decided I’m not going to call her or text her till she calls me. Do you really think the phone thing is true or is she just lying to get out of going out with me? I don’t get it because she was the one who initiated the whole thing of going out to the club, and she kissed me. I don’t know what to do. Can someone please help me because now I’m actually starting to like this girl, and I would like to date her.
What’s My Problem?
September 3rd, 2008I think I have a problem. I’m attracted to one woman one day then another the next. But the thing is that I don’t stop going from one to the other until I get them in bed, which lately it’s very often. I tell the girl the world just to get her to sleep with me, then she thinks we are dating then I leave her for the next “victim”. I lie to them all unconsciously at the time but later realize it. I will tell a girl anything and everything she wants to hear to get her to “fall” for me. I feel like one of those jerk guys who always does this to the girls like in the movies.
I haven’t always done this, but I think I do it because I’m afraid to fall for anyone. I fell in love once and got my heart broken and since then I have been like this. I have feelings for this one woman but it’s something impossible, but if I could have her she’s the only one I would want to be with and everyone else to me isn’t good enough, just good enough to sleep with. The reason I say she’s impossible is because she’s straight and married with kids. If someone could give me advice as to whether or not this is healthy not or what I should do.
Being Friends Or More Than That With An Ex
August 27th, 2008Here’s the thing. I have this ex from a year ago and we hadn’t spoke for about 8 months, I ran into one of her friends and decided I should contact her. Now the reason we hadn’t spoke in so long was because of her current girlfriend who wouldn’t let her talk to me. Anyways, I contacted her over the internet thinking she probably won’t even respond. So the next week I checked my email and to my surprise she responded. She told me how sorry she was that she hadn’t spoke to me just because of her girlfriend, who has now broken up with her. So we decided we would meet up and go out to a movie and catch up. At first it was kind of awkward, but by the end of the night it was as if it was just like before when we were friends.
Anyways the next couple of days we hung out and I started flirting with her. We had then decided since we were both now single we could have sex and fool around. I didn’t know if this was really a good idea or not, but I decided it would be okay for the time being. The next day, we were watching a movie on her couch and she started making out with me which was perfectly fine with me at the time, except for the little thing in the back of my head telling me it’s not a good idea. I left her house later that night and went home. The following day I was hanging out with some friends and I got drunk and hooked up with my cousin’s best friend who happens to be a guy. To me it was nothing, just a one night stand and I don’t really like being with a guy. Then I would go over to her and make out with her and then go see my cousin’s friend Sam, and make out with him and I don’t even know why because I didn’t enjoy it.
Anyway, she found out a little bit about what was going on and got upset. So I said okay you don’t fool around with anyone else and I won’t either. A couple days later we went out again and went to a movie and the whole time during the movie she was texting some chick that goes to school with her. I got mad and the rest of the night gave her the cold shoulder and she had no idea why. Later on, on the way to take her home I told her when you go out with someone don’t talk to someone else on the phone. It is a pet peeve of mine; I hate it when people are on the phone when you’re supposed to be spending time with them. By her doing this it brought back a ton of emotions from a year ago when she had broken up with me. This is part of why she apologized to me when I had emailed her, because of how mean she was when she did it, and now she is saying sorry and that she made a mistake.
Everywhere we go she is looking at other people, commenting how hot some girl is, and telling me how she flirts with the girls in her class at school. She had even said she wanted to go out with someone in her school so she could show up her ex-girlfriend. This all bothers me because she says this stuff and then later kisses me and tries to make me fall for her again. She has some kind of charm about her, because she is so confident about herself. She could make anyone fall in love with her. Thing is if I went to her school she would probably want me back, but I’m older than her and have already gone to college and she is only 17 so there is that age gap.
I get jealous when she talks about these other people. I told her that I have feelings for her that I used to have before but she says she just doesn’t feel the same way. I think she had just agreed to fool around with me because she doesn’t like being alone, as she is always on the rebound after she breaks up with everyone she goes with. I think she will just use me until she finds someone else who is better and I told her that. But its like no matter what she does to make me mad at her I want her more and it drives me crazy.
I know that I can’t be friends with her but I don’t want to be without her, and the only way I want her is for me to be with her, I guess it’s because I love her. I need help here I don’t know what to do. I think my problem with dating is I’m too nice, I always am the one that pays, and does nice things, I don’t take many risks so for some people that could be boring, and she won’t tell me what I did wrong before. The more she doesn’t want me the more I blame myself for a problem that probably doesn’t exist and in reality it’s probably a problem with her. If someone can please help me out, I appreciate it.
I Have A Crush On A Straight Married Woman
May 18th, 2008I have a big problem. I have been crushing on a straight, married woman who happens to also be twice my age. I have a feeling that she might feel the same way I do about her but I am afraid to ask because we also work together. She definitely knows I have a crush on her because it is very obvious, and I am constantly flirting with her. It has been driving me crazy for the past couple of months because I can’t get my mind off her. She does flirt back with me and sometimes gives me a look, or calls and emails me for no particular reason or to ask the same thing again just to make sure. I just can’t take the stress of wondering anymore but I don’t know what to do exactly because of the particulars and our work relationship. HELP!!!
