She’s Amazing

I’m 21 and I broke up with my long term girlfriend just over 4 months ago (it was also the first and only relationship I’ve ever had). I never really went out on the scene before, because I didn’t come out until I started dating my ex. Anyway, about a month after the break up my friends convinced me to go out. They said to talk to girls, flirt, have fun, you’re too young to settle down anyway.

We went to a club out of town and I felt as if they had thrown me in at the deep end because they pretty much left me to amuse myself. My friends seem to have so much confidence with girls, so I decided to take a leave out of their book and began cruising the club looking for cute girls to dance with. I noticed this beautiful girl and it may have had something to do with the fact that I was already a little drunk, but I went over and asked her to dance. She was with her friend, so the three of us danced together all night. Although she had told me she had a girlfriend, she gave me her number and said she’d like to be friends. Having not long come out of a relationship I figured it was probably for the best as I wasn’t really ready to start dating.

Since that night we have become really good friends. We are very similar (great matches on all our Facebook quizzes). We even have a little nickname for each other. I have always flirted with her a little because I think she’s beautiful and she already knows I have a crush on her so I figured why hide it. She even flirts back a little, but it has always been very innocent and I told her that although I really like her, I respect the fact that she is in a relationship and would never try and interfere with that.

Last week we met up and went out for dinner, followed by a club and had a really good time. A couple of days later we were talking on MSN. She had changed her display picture and I commented on how beautiful she looked. Any way she began telling me about an argument she had with her girlfriend. Her girlfriend was being a bit possessive and insecure. Basically her girlfriend lives in London, so they don’t see each other much and although she is 25 and very comfortable with her sexuality. This is her girlfriend’s first lesbian experience, plus she hasn’t come out yet, so they have to hide their relationship from everyone.

I did what any good friend would do and listened and told her everything was going to be ok. Anyway, the conversation moved on and we were talking about movies. She asked if I preferred salty or sweet popcorn and I accidentally replied ‘I like sweat’. She thought this was really funny and replied ‘I like to sweat’. I told her she shouldn’t say stuff like that because it made random things pop into my head. She started flirting really bad and begged me to tell her what I had thought. At first I told her it was inappropriate because she wasn’t single but she kept begging me so I told her.

She told me that she didn’t mind me having those kinds of thoughts about her and that she wanted me to be able to tell her everything. Then she said, ‘If I was single would you kiss me’. I said, ‘For sure, the other night when we were dancing together. I had to hold myself back, because I wanted to kiss you’ and to my surprise she confessed to having felt the same. Now I can’t get her out of my mind and before you say it. It’s not a rebound thing. Trust me, I’ve already had a rebound fling.

I don’t know what to do. She says she’s in love with her girlfriend, but has doubts, because she’s afraid that she will never come out to her family. I think she’s amazing and I’m afraid that I’m falling in love with someone I can never have. I’m also afraid that if her and her girlfriend, do braek up, I’ll just end up being a rebound fling or we’ll carry on flirting until something happens and then I’ll lose her as a friend as well. What should I do?

---

The Lesbian Question | Powered by WordPress | ElegantBlue is a custom theme by Nathan Rice |