The Lesbian Question

My Coming Out Story… Or Not

justafolk — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 20:43:10 +0000

Hi! I don’t really know how to do this… This would be the first time I write a post and participate in a blog. I’ll start by saying I’m a gold star lesbian and I’ve been in a relationship with my first and only girl for almost four years now. The truth is, I’M NOT OUT. No one knows I’m a lesbian except for my girl and me. I come from a totally homophobic family. Just to give you an example, I’ve got a little sister and she’s been taken out of the school she was attending because one of her teachers was gay. Yes, that was the reason why…

Anyway, the real purpose of my post is to set all my feelings free since I’m desperate and I guess this is normal. I’m coming out to YOU! I’m 23 and I feel I’ve come to a point at which I just need to say I’m a lesbian, at least to someone else apart from my partner! It really tears me apart not being able to share this with my closest friends and family. The thing is that in the society I live in, being gay or a lesbian in not at all accepted.

Although you don’t know me or my name or anything, it’s taken me more than 6 years to come to terms with myself and realise I’m not ill as everyone may say in my country. Though this “coming-out-to-you” thing may seem silly to you, it means a lot to me. I feel so breathless sometimes because I’m not able to set myself free from all this I’m going through. I know for certain that my family will deny my existence if they knew I’m a lez girl. At times I feel like shouting “I’M A LESBIAN”, but then, social constraints chase me and I’ve come to accept that, for the time being, I can only share this with my partner, whose social and family backgrounds are ever more “traditional”. All her family is really narrow-minded when it comes to this subject. I feel so tied and frustrated… But I’m in love and that’s what matters, right?

Well, I think I’ve more or less said everything I wanted to. Thanks a lot for reading this and taking the time to pay some attention to this desperate lesbian. I really appreciate this. I want to apologize for any mistakes you may have found (English is my second language). I would really love to read comments on my situation and see if there’s anyone going through something similar to this.

Thanks again.

Till next time.

New Friends…

rachy — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 06:14:20 +0000

I’ve recently broken up with my girlfriend and although I have a large group of friends they are all straight. My old gay friends have moved cities, due to jobs, family and travel and I feel very lonely. I’m a very femme lesbian and I find it very hard to be accepted as gay when I do go out as they assume I’m just another straight girl within a group of them… Do you have any suggestions as to where I can meet new people in the North of England?

Does She Like Me?

hannahleigh — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 17:01:36 +0000

Hi there! I’m 16 and I am totally sure that I am bisexual, and have just come out to my best friend. I like girls more than guys, and so far she is the only one who knows. All my friends joke about the possibility of me being bi, but I usually just laugh it off and they move on. I go to an all girls school, and this year I started hanging out with a girl who was in a few of my classes. The problem is, I think I’ve totally fallen for her.

We are getting closer to each other; we hug each other hello and goodbye and talk on the phone quite a bit. Just recently she got a boyfriend, and I think she’s straight. Sometimes I think that when she holds my hand as we walk to class that it might be a sign, but then I think I might just be kidding myself. I was wondering, what are the normal signs that girls give when they like you but don’t know how to say it?

So that’s just my first problem; the second is that I’m not sure how to come out to everyone. I’m well aware of the extreme homophobia at my school - just the other week a gay friend of mine was pushed down the stairs and yelled at with insulting things. My friends used to ask me quite a bit if I was gay - I think I had that vibe or something. But I just kept saying no, because at that time I was still confused. Now I want to tell them, but I feel that it’s like going back on my word. Am I going crazy?

Is there a right time to tell people? I often think that I should wait for a relationship with another girl before I tell people, so I have proof - you see I have ‘gone out’ with a few guys previously but never kissed them, and I’ve never been out with a girl. But until then I am being swallowed up by wanting this girl - she’s all I think about! Please help, if don’t do something about her soon then I’ll go mad!

Straight Girl Blues

abbey — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 04:17:05 +0000

I am just out of a long term gay relationship and have found myself pretty crazy about a straight girl. I have tried to kiss her etc. but she always says she is straight. She provokes me quite a lot always, walking around naked and sometimes we sleep together but she still refuses any advances. We go everywhere together and really love each others company. She doesn’t and hasn’t had a boyfriend in years and deep down I have always felt she is in love with me. She said to a group of friends that she is maybe bisexual. However I am getting pretty frustrated and would like some advice about what to do and whether I should (don’t think I can!) walk away.

What’s My Problem?

erin — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 08:53:51 +0000

I think I have a problem. I’m attracted to one woman one day then another the next. But the thing is that I don’t stop going from one to the other until I get them in bed, which lately it’s very often. I tell the girl the world just to get her to sleep with me, then she thinks we are dating then I leave her for the next “victim”. I lie to them all unconsciously at the time but later realize it. I will tell a girl anything and everything she wants to hear to get her to “fall” for me. I feel like one of those jerk guys who always does this to the girls like in the movies.

I haven’t always done this, but I think I do it because I’m afraid to fall for anyone. I fell in love once and got my heart broken and since then I have been like this. I have feelings for this one woman but it’s something impossible, but if I could have her she’s the only one I would want to be with and everyone else to me isn’t good enough, just good enough to sleep with. The reason I say she’s impossible is because she’s straight and married with kids. If someone could give me advice as to whether or not this is healthy not or what I should do.