Pregnant and Dumped
Recently I’ve gone through a pretty tough break up, and I’m finding it extremely hard to cope. This girl was my first same sex relationship, and although we weren’t together for that long, we moved extremely fast, living together pretty much straight away, and I fell for her very hard, very fast. A couple of weeks after we had gotten together, I found out I was pregnant to a guy I’d been seeing briefly before we got together. My girlfriend said she was fine with it. As naive as I was, I was over the moon about it… although it had only been a few weeks, our relationship seemed unbreakable, and I thought with the baby, I’d have my own little family. It was all well and good, up until Christmas, when she broke up with me, saying she wasn’t ready to be a parent. However, we continued on as though we were still together, doing all the relationship things… she was still telling me she loved me, etc.
I planned a week to go visit a friend, and she told me that when I got back, she wanted us to move back in together. I’d never been so happy in my life. The whole time I was away, she was text messaging me telling me she missed me, loved me, etc. When I got back, she ignored me for the 1st day, turned her phone off and wouldn’t answer any messages. The next afternoon when she finally turned her phone back on, I called her, and she refused to talk to me. 5 minutes after I hang up I get a text message from her saying she has to call everything off between us, with no explanation why. I call her back, and after several attempts to figure out what I did wrong, I finally ask if there is someone else. She says yeah, someone she’d been hooking up with while I was away.
This was a week before my 21st birthday, and this new chick was only 17. It’s been nearly 6 weeks now, and it’s still not getting any easier. I miss her like crazy. My self esteem has taken a major nose-dive, she’s made me feel that when I have a baby, no one will want me, and I can’t do any of the normal break up things, like go out and have a drink, or a rebound fling or anything… No one wants a pregnant chick… I’m really really struggling t0 get over her, and am scared stiff about how I’m going to cope with the baby… what if I’m still so upset about her, I end up a bad mum… Does anyone have any advice?
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Wow,I can only imagine what you’re feeling and I’m really sorry.The fact that you are keeping this child,shows that your are a very responsible individual and I applauded you for that.And as far as your girlfriend goes,you know the saying “easy comes easy goes”,forget this girl.Forget her for your child’s sake and channel your energy towards yourself and your unborn child, he/she needs you now.Don’t stress yourself out over this girl,it’s unhealthy for you and the baby.Surround yourself with positive people and remember you have this beautiful child growing inside of you.One more thing “ok!” two more things,love will find you don’t rush it and please eat well.
Wow, that is very very heavy. Well obviously the baby and yourself come first. I’m sorry to say I don’t have the experience yet to give you great avice I’m still in the learning boat,lol. The most important thing for you right now is focus, and it seems like you have that under control. I know its hard with the baby, but just keep focus and your heart in the right place and the rest will follow. Male or female a relationship like that is hard to recover from. Its crazy, VERY crazy but I guess as time goes on things will fall into place and be easier to deal with.That is the hardest thing, mostly for me, to go on with your life knowing that they’re not apart of it. Although all of this keeps your mind and heart awake at night, there is so much ahead of you. Just think years ago you may not have imagined yourself in this position, but here you are. Time may not heal all wounds, but time allows new opportunities to grow. I know its not a fast solution but thats how I think it works.
Right now you need to concentrate on your health and your baby. 17 is very young and you shouldn’t expect her to be ready to settle down with a child! You too are very young and have many many years of fun and love ahead of you. Don’t worry, u do not need anyone else in your life right now to take away from that baby. Take care of yourself, find support in family and friends and your love will come when the time is right. A baby gives so much love, look forward to that and cherish it.
My ex isnt 17, she’s 19, her new gf is 17. What has stuffed me around really badly was how much she used me, the way she continued to lead me on, telling me she loved me, wanted to move back in, etc. She’d call me and my unborn, ‘her 2 babies’. And i’d given her the choice the whole way thru to leave if she couldnt handle it. But she’d always said she wouldnt be here if she didnt want to be.Then all of a sudden, no warning at all, she’s not there any more. One day she’s Telling me she loves me, then all of a sudden, completely ignoring me, before telling me IN A TEXT message that it was over, with out giving me a reason, then finally telling me over the fone that she’d been hooking up with a 17 year old whilst telling me she loved me, missed me, couldnt wait for me to get back, etc. I try to concentrate on the baby, but im so scared i’ll end up being a bad mum, or resenting the baby because of how im feeling right now.
the way I see it, this is one of the worst positions to be in.
Would you still be pregnant if she didn’t assure you that she’ll be there when the baby comes?
And you can’t say you didn’t see it coming, she broke up with you in the middle of all of this, and even though you guys got back together, SHE TOLD YOU RIGHT THERE SHE WAS NOT READY TO BE A PARENT! It’s a very hard situation to be in, but you’ll have a baby, your own little cute newborn! You’ll be a great mum, don’t worry! Self control, and the best for the baby!
Now you get a glimpse of why parenthood is so hard, you have to sacrifice yourself sometimes, so that the baby would be happy, you should think about dating again after a few years, 2 at the least, because you can’t leave that kid alone. So forget about that girl, you need something serious now, and she’s just having fun. I just want you to know that this kid will be your LIFE from now on, and you have to prioritize it! you probably new that, but i just wanted to make sure =)
I’ve been in your situation, almost word for word of what happened to you happened to me last year.
the only difference is i moved halfway across the u.s. before finding out there was another girl involved.
I dropped out of college, quit my job, left everything I had been building up for 3 years behind without even thinking twice. However, she decided the evening I arrived she wasn’t ready to parent a child, and would prefer the company of the new 20 year old bitch instead….reguardless, the reason I’m even replying to this post is because I lost my son almost 7.5 months into the pregnancy and I am absoultly convinced it was because i was so devistated and just stressed out with the whole situation, that i put those two moral-less pieces of trash above my baby. I was in the hospital for what seemed like forever because I became horrifically ill, so ill infact when they came in to take blood, they could hardle find my vain in my arm! I became and still am to this day horrifically anemic amongst loads of other emotional and living\expenses problems.
do youself a favor and put your and your baby’s health first.
you do not want to live the life that I am forced to suffer thru every day.
keep your chin up.