Lesbian Dick

Whether to out yourself as a lesbian or not is far more complicated than you think. Do you out all your body parts or do you keep some secrets? Let’s test it!

Let’s see. Imagine you’re a gorgeous lesbian with quite a bit of shag experience. I don’t necessary mean fuck-around-experience. I mean that you have had some time to experiment. With a real or imaginary friend. You might even have been with a few men before you realised that women were a far better option. Now imagine that you generally out yourself to everyone you see. You whistle Indigo Girls tunes (e.g. the flute melody of Closer to fine) all day, have a rainbow sticker on your car, you try to have eye contact with the girl you think is gay at work during meetings. You have a steady girlfriend. Heck, you were even interviewed for national television during the gay pride because you were dancing on the naked-body-painted-ladies-wagon. You are liberated, out, and you feel fine about being a lez.

But that’s exactly when it starts getting complicated. Especially when the subject is sex. Let me outline a situation, so you can test your outing skills.

Setting: at work, office.
Your heterosexually oriented colleagues/friends received a PowerPoint presentation in their e-mail with positions from the Kamasutra. They’re all standing around one computer commenting on the difficulty of the positions, laughing and joking. And before you know it you are there in front of the screen, giggling and commenting with them. Turns out that you have great knowledge on how long a cock should exactly be to touch the g-spot when entering from behind. But then a female colleague -the blonde one- asks: “But how do you know? You’re a lesbian?”
Result: Uncomfortable silence (you stopped whistling) and all eyes are on you… What do you answer?

You see, the real reason you know about pussy–cock positions is because you regularly use a strap on. In fact, you plan a fuck marathon as soon as you get home and you have just bought a new 16 inch flesh colored cock with bulging veins for your girlfriend’s birthday. Of course you didn’t mention that to your mother. Officially the girlfriend got a CD. (btw: Men know that lesbians do this kind of strap on stuff. In fact they even know that lesbians always wear lipstick that doesn’t smear during sex and that they have very long painted fingernails. Blonde hetero women don’t understand, not even if they have long fingernails. But let’s get to the point.)

So how do you explain to the blond colleague at work that you know all about heterosex? You’re not heterosexual, there’s no Dick or Willy involved so it is assumed that lesbians do it differently.
You say:

A) I know this because before I was a lesbian I slept with men.
Technically speaking you’re going back in the closet when saying this. And you are lying because although you measured the length of your former boyfriend’s cock (because he asked), he never got anywhere near your g-spot.

B) I know about cock because my heterosexual female friends talk about their sex life a lot. In fact they tell me all the details, because I’m a lesbian.
The straight girlfriend excuse. Always works, but it’s really weak, sister.

C) You tell your colleague about your cock in a very dignified way.
You explain that it’s not penis envy but merely sex play. You do not forget to mention that the strap on sex you have as a lesbian is not an imitation of heterosex. That you don’t really need it to have a satisfying sex life but that you do it anyway. In fact, why do you do it? The complete and honest outing of all parts. A contribution to the emancipation of lesbians all over the world. Downside: now everyone in the office will try to imagine you naked with a strap on when you walk past their desk.

Well? Would you go for C? And if so, would you tell the blonde how long your penis is?

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