Backwards Story
Ok so here it is. I came out as bi at age 14. Then at age 15 I came out as gay, told my mom… and got my first serious girlfriend. I have no problem with being gay, I think at that age it was the only thing I really knew about myself. My mom says it’s a phase and still wants me to marry a doctor and have 2.5 kids. My brother says he always knew, and my friends are all really cool with it.
Now that I’m 18 it’s the summer before college and I meet this guy, a friend. We spend three weeks together and I find out we have a lot in common and I start to think he is cute. It’s not just that he is cute but I also find his personality attractive. I have never thought about being with a guy, he is the first and I am pretty sure the only guy. But what if he isn’t, what if I’m not gay? That sounds stupid, but from the beginning of high school I labelled myself as a lesbian and that has become a part of who I am. How can I think of this guy that way? I can’t answer that question; I don’t know what it is about him. I do know that I still find girls attractive, more so than that, but this one particular attraction has confused me.
Can anyone help?
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You can be gay and still find SOME guys attractive, it’s ok to think that and may get you confused about your true sexuality (hell, I am, but still I’m young).
In what ways are you attracted to women? Sexually? emotionally? Physically? etc…
How did you clarify you were officially ‘gay,’ like what did you realize about yourself that came to the result of ‘gay?’ Any experiences with women?
If you like this guy, try him out, see how it goes and if you truly like him the way you think you do, don’t freak hun, it’s normal to still not know yourself, so go and experiment with both sexes.
Maybe, it is “only him,” that you find attractive, you’ll have to find out what you truly like and want, especailly where your heart wants to go. Don’t worry so much, college is the best time to find yourself out.
Hope this helped.
Loves, Ro
Try not to worry about it so much. If you like him, just go for it. You can figure out the lesbian/bisexual/straight business later if it’s really that important, but I don’t think it is. You say that being a lesbian has become a part of who you are, but it’s not all of you. Develop the other parts of you.