A Silent Cycle
I have been in a vicious cycle for about nine months now with one of my close friends. It all started when I noticed she was flirting with me one night and ever since I have been so confused by her and what she wants from me. She is bisexual, always has boyfriends and tons of people, both guys and girls, tripping over themselves to be with her.
She always flirts with me, tells me how beautiful or hot I look, and makes me feel like no other girl has. It doesn’t matter if she is in a relationship or not, she always tends to pay attention to me. All of our friends who we hang around keep asking me if we are more than friends and I just don’t know how to respond. A few months ago we were very intoxicated and started making out, she then brought up how she wondered why we hadn’t done anything more. Later that night she came and found me to make out more, but then went to make out with other people. But she kept coming back to me. Now our friendship is very strained, she doesn’t really speak to me or respond to any texts or phone calls and I don’t know what to do. The feelings that I have are so intense, but I can never tell if she has them too or if she is just having fun. Everyone around me says that we clearly have something going on, but I feel like they are just telling me what I want to hear.
We have mentioned to each other that we have a really weird friendship, but we never went into details about how or why we do. It was just stated.
She now has a boyfriend, like always, but she still kisses me sometimes when he isn’t looking. This is what confuses me the most.
The worst part is that I was starting to move on and am even trying to start a relationship with someone else, but she has started pulling me back in again.
I am really looking for advice, I have no one to talk to about this. Does she have feelings for me? What do I do?
Why Crushes Matter
I think I slid into the “life is serious” myth with out knowing it. There is A LOT of that going around, yes? Clearly, this is a perfect time to get my feel good groove rolling again by diving into my favorite topic. Yes, it’s time to chat about crushes!
Are you wondering if it is prudent to take a break from all the significant events going on to chat about crushes? Please, only take a break from the rest of your life if thinking about a crush puts a smile on your face. That’s right! Crushes are the perfect remedy for anything that puts a frown on your face because they are a direct channel to love. And love, as you know, IS the ultimate power tool (more on that in a couple days).
Seriously, crushes matter because they:
- allow you to tap into what you like, and what’s possible in your life.
- perk up your attention, stir up feelings, and get your blood pumping (and you don’t even have to lift a finger!).
- open your heart.
- are fun, free, and tap your internal innocence.
- are a perfect antidote to stress.
- are enough, in and of themselves. As my pal Amy put it recently, “I love crushes because there is no analysis. They just are.”
Look, when you’re feeling this good, you automatically tell the universe that “I want more of this please!” And, regardless of what is happening anywhere else, the universe will match the energy you express. You’ll tap into your own feel good groove, and who knows what will happen then!
You know what else is great about crushes? You can have them on anyone, and anytime. All that matters is the feeling. Sure, I always have crushes on several people at any moment in time. Right now, my crush short list includes (but is certainly not limited to):
- Jeannette Maw’s Dad, who I’ve only met through Jeannette’s writing about him.
- the cutie dyke server at Ghini’s restaurant in Tucson.
- ¼ of all the WNBA players, and at least ½ the NCAA women college basketball coaches.
- most every lesbian, and gay man I meet over the age of 70.
- 1-3 women at every Hot Flash Dance I attend
- Rachel Maddow. . .. political discourse has never been this enjoyable!
Yes, of course I have a crush on my sweetie, DB. Besides being absolutely adorable, she always asks me about who or what I fell in love with today. Yes, the woman who captures my heart must understand that I fall in love or crush a zillion times a day. For me, it is just the best way to experience the world.
Oh sure, I haven’t always been able to enjoy my easy way with crushes. I used believe there something was wrong with me or my sweetie when ever I had a crush on someone. Or I’d think I could only have a crush on someone unavailable-like a WNBA player. Then there were times when I thought that I needed to act on my crushes -lest they get away.
Now, I just enjoy my crushes. They are fun and keep me tuned into myself. What a relief it is to enjoy it all.
Ok, are you ready for your turn? Let’s see how much fun we can stir up! Who do you have a crush on? How do crushes give your life a lift? Any good crush stories you want to share? www.dreamandflourish.com
I have been in a vicious cycle for about nine months now with one of my close friends. It all started when I noticed she was flirting with me one night and ever since I have been so confused by her and what she wants from me. She is bisexual, always has boyfriends and tons of people, both guys and girls, tripping over themselves to be with her.
She always flirts with me, tells me how beautiful or hot I look, and makes me feel like no other girl has. It doesn’t matter if she is in a relationship or not, she always tends to pay attention to me. All of our friends who we hang around keep asking me if we are more than friends and I just don’t know how to respond. A few months ago we were very intoxicated and started making out, she then brought up how she wondered why we hadn’t done anything more. Later that night she came and found me to make out more, but then went to make out with other people. But she kept coming back to me. Now our friendship is very strained, she doesn’t really speak to me or respond to any texts or phone calls and I don’t know what to do. The feelings that I have are so intense, but I can never tell if she has them too or if she is just having fun. Everyone around me says that we clearly have something going on, but I feel like they are just telling me what I want to hear.
We have mentioned to each other that we have a really weird friendship, but we never went into details about how or why we do. It was just stated.
She now has a boyfriend, like always, but she still kisses me sometimes when he isn’t looking. This is what confuses me the most.
The worst part is that I was starting to move on and am even trying to start a relationship with someone else, but she has started pulling me back in again.
I am really looking for advice, I have no one to talk to about this. Does she have feelings for me? What do I do?
I think I slid into the “life is serious” myth with out knowing it. There is A LOT of that going around, yes? Clearly, this is a perfect time to get my feel good groove rolling again by diving into my favorite topic. Yes, it’s time to chat about crushes!
Are you wondering if it is prudent to take a break from all the significant events going on to chat about crushes? Please, only take a break from the rest of your life if thinking about a crush puts a smile on your face. That’s right! Crushes are the perfect remedy for anything that puts a frown on your face because they are a direct channel to love. And love, as you know, IS the ultimate power tool (more on that in a couple days).
Seriously, crushes matter because they:
- allow you to tap into what you like, and what’s possible in your life.
- perk up your attention, stir up feelings, and get your blood pumping (and you don’t even have to lift a finger!).
- open your heart.
- are fun, free, and tap your internal innocence.
- are a perfect antidote to stress.
- are enough, in and of themselves. As my pal Amy put it recently, “I love crushes because there is no analysis. They just are.”
Look, when you’re feeling this good, you automatically tell the universe that “I want more of this please!” And, regardless of what is happening anywhere else, the universe will match the energy you express. You’ll tap into your own feel good groove, and who knows what will happen then!
You know what else is great about crushes? You can have them on anyone, and anytime. All that matters is the feeling. Sure, I always have crushes on several people at any moment in time. Right now, my crush short list includes (but is certainly not limited to):
- Jeannette Maw’s Dad, who I’ve only met through Jeannette’s writing about him.
- the cutie dyke server at Ghini’s restaurant in Tucson.
- ¼ of all the WNBA players, and at least ½ the NCAA women college basketball coaches.
- most every lesbian, and gay man I meet over the age of 70.
- 1-3 women at every Hot Flash Dance I attend
- Rachel Maddow. . .. political discourse has never been this enjoyable!
Yes, of course I have a crush on my sweetie, DB. Besides being absolutely adorable, she always asks me about who or what I fell in love with today. Yes, the woman who captures my heart must understand that I fall in love or crush a zillion times a day. For me, it is just the best way to experience the world.
Oh sure, I haven’t always been able to enjoy my easy way with crushes. I used believe there something was wrong with me or my sweetie when ever I had a crush on someone. Or I’d think I could only have a crush on someone unavailable-like a WNBA player. Then there were times when I thought that I needed to act on my crushes -lest they get away.
Now, I just enjoy my crushes. They are fun and keep me tuned into myself. What a relief it is to enjoy it all.
Ok, are you ready for your turn? Let’s see how much fun we can stir up! Who do you have a crush on? How do crushes give your life a lift? Any good crush stories you want to share? www.dreamandflourish.com
