Please help me, I’m confused
First of all, I’m not so good in English. Hope U can understand even if sometimes my words turn upside down, lol.
I have a problem, keep messing with my mind. I’m a closet lesbian, no one knows I am. But I ever had a relationship with a girl, but then we broke up because she actually already have bf… and I feel like I’m not really into her… maybe just to fill my loneliness and it was her who bravely said she loved me. There’re many girls attracted to me but I ignored them because I want to concentrate on my studies & don’t want to slip into any problems anymore with this kind of relationship. Oh… for your information, I’m quite boyish & I looked ‘handsome and charming’ – that’s what they said.
But, when I finished my studies & started working, I changed my appearance to a very feminine side (but my cool is still in), tried to change my life. Anyway, I still didn’t have feeling for boys but no relationships with girl too. The problem occurred when I met this woman (she’s already married with 2 sons). At 1st sight, I didn’t feel anything. But after several meetings, I felt something had bloomed between us. I started to confuse & suffer with the feeling.
Actually, the way she acted caused me headache. I don’t have any clue does she loves me or not. She get closer to me day by day but one day, I made a mistake by ignoring her once (only once), & she keep avoiding me after that… really strange. she looks angry but at the same time she seems wants me to get jealous of her by getting closer with my other friend…It hurts me, not because I’m jealous but because she avoid me, didn’t want to look at me, & didn’t reply me when I’m talking. But I keep talking to her & she started to talk to me after I tried so hard. At 1st, she looked shy & always smiles when talking to me. After that, we became friends as usual and at that time she left my friend… obviously she was only trying to make me jealous.
I’m still confused if she loves me or not. Here is the situation, she treated me n my friends dinner, & my friends get a little surprise because she never treat them before (actually I’m a new worker there). N then there was one boy came to my life, from friends recommendation and she found out, she prevent me to accept him with a reason, go get other handsome man. Actually, I’m not into that boy too. She asked me to hang out again but never got a chance because of work. N she asked me to accompany her to do her work in a very romantic way but I can’t because of work too. She always tried to touch me every time we met. She looks so jealous if I’m with another girl or guy (especially guy)…if she saw it, she won’t speak to me, acts like I’m not there. & there’re many other signs, too long to be told
At the same time, she also made a very opposite signs of attraction. She always mentioned about her husband….I admitted I’m jealous but I won’t show it, I made it like a normal conversation. But the way she tell about her husband was strange…looks like to show off or else to make me jealous once again. She only mentions about her husband in front of me……what’s that mean? I’m suffering with this stuff…don’t know what to do…does she loves me? Or not? But I’m not going to live with her because she has a happy family as I seen. It’s just why does she tortured me like this…plz help me…tell me what did she want? Thank you for your help…
Exploring my sexuality
I am a 27 year old female who is beginning to seriously question (or is at the very least curious about) my sexuality. To be truthful, it has never been a topic I have seriously pondered in the past. However, there are some thoughts and that I can no longer seem to push away. But before I begin, however, let me give you more background on myself so you might be best equipped to help me with my “issues”. I apologize up front if my “letter” becomes too long.
To start, I have never had a boyfriend and have also never been on a date. I simply have had no interest. All through my growing-up years (and even into today), I have always made it perfectly clear to family and friends that I have no desire to ever marry. Indeed, I cannot imagine myself ever being with a man in a romantic or sexual relationship period. While a man may appear “attractive” (being where the person possesses admirable qualities – physical/mental/character), I myself do not feel a particular “attraction” to the person in a sexual/romantic way (if that in anyway makes sense).
Until a few years ago, I classified myself as heterosexual (despite the fact that I neither have nor wanted to date, a boyfriend, etc.). Yet, it was the only description that I had ever even considered. Then, I began classifying myself as asexual (for convenience and because I truly don’t feel I can classify myself as necessarily heterosexual). It was around this time that I was discussing sexuality with a close cousin of mine. This individual happened to ask me at the time whether I had ever experienced romantic/sexual feelings toward persons of the same sex. I responded no, yet even then I began to question my response.
A few years have passed since then and I have at times thought about that question. I know that there have been times where I have felt a strong attraction or feelings towards a few female friends (and admittedly had the desire to kiss) yet have resisted the urges. I have always pushed those feelings out of my mind telling myself I shouldn’t think of that. I find certain females attractive and to whom I have an attraction. There is also this desire to be with someone. I have been thinking more and more of what it would be like with another female.
Yet, in all this, I am questioning the legitimacy of my feelings. I am wondering if they are truly emotions I have or whether I just want to feel this way? Also, I am questioning whether or not I have really had attractions towards these friends over the years. Finally, perhaps I am just convincing myself that I will have no interest in men and maybe I should force myself out of my comfort zone and perhaps I’ll find that I’m actually intersted. It has taken me many days since discovering your website to get up the nerve to write this letter because part of me feels like a fool. Yet, there is also some relief in writing this letter and getting these emotions (real or all in-the-head) out into the open. I am not asking for anyone to tell me what my sexuality is (or is not) and I hesitate to even classify myself at all anymore. I am just hoping that perhaps somewhere out there someone can empathize with my feelings and sense of confusion and that my thoughts were not too garbled. Thank-you to those who are willing to read and respond to this posting.
Side note: This is a topic I am addressing on this forum because it is not one I can discuss with 95% + of my family and close friends – without risking severing ties with most/all.
So So Confused
Well um hi to all, here’s my story I guess. Well I’m 17 and I found out I was lez or bi I when I was 15. The first girl I liked was great and beautiful and all but seeing her in a different light scared the crap out of me, see for awhile even before actually figuring it out myself I guess I was always attracted to girls more than guys just admiring the beauty. But then came along this girl that twisted my world upside down at the time she was 15. I never felt anything close to what I felt for her. I was immediately attracted to her and we hit it off pretty well.
I was one of her first friends in the program we were in. We got pretty close in the first months of our friendship but after awhile I couldn’t handle being around her without wanting to attack her. So after 2 months I told her I liked her and wondered if I had any chance with her. She responded that she only wanted to be friends. That was one of the most painful moments in my short life. I was pretty down and a lil angry because wither she knew it or not she flirted wit me constantly. So we decided to stay friends but I began to distance myself away from her slowly.
Summer came around and since we were in the same program we had to spend six weeks together with 40 or so others both boys and girls at a camp. I hadn’t talked to her in over 2 weeks so I didn’t know what to expect. Bedtime came around and all the girls slept in the same room; there were bunk beds spread throughout the room I choose one close to one of my best friends who I met a year before in the program while she slept at the complete opposite side of the room than me. I was okay with that and it keeps my nerves calm. So throughout the program I avoided her a lot bout a fourth way thru she noticed and started to try to hang around me more often which, if any of u can relate, was torturous. Half way thru she decided to change beddings and come to the bed to the right of me to sleep. Needless to say the last part of camp at night was rough, but what really confused me was how she acted around me when we were alone. This one time I was running upstairs to grab something from my room and she was coming down I almost ran into her, but I got to tell u this girl was around 5’2 to my 5’7, so I stopped myself in time then looked down her light brown eyes were piercing thru mine I could actually feel her breath on my chin, her eyes were questioning as she took a tiny step forward her head tilted upward. I swear that was a very intense moment, my nerves were getting to me and I knew she was teasing me or something but some how I managed to step side ways and run up the stairs. Cant say that was the last time stuff like that happened just that was the most intense. Anyway other events happened that I don’t really want to explain but the program ended for the summer and me and her friendship was severed badly I cut it off not wanting anymore heartbreak.
I just didn’t understand why she would put me through all that and just play with my emotions. Some how she became my friend again and she still confused the hell out of me so I agreed to still be her friend though like at the beginning I distanced my self it was easier because she lived in a different town than me but the feelings would go away that told me that she liked me too cause we both liked the same things and some things not so much. I know I’m leaving out a lot but I just don’t know what to do, I don’t know how she really feels, but my question to u is should I stay her friend and see where it takes me? Or should I stop being friends before I get hurt anymore?
Is This Normal?
Hey,
Well, I’m pretty sure I’m gay, right. And seeing girls naked or even kiss is really hot and can get me really excited. I love girls and I’m a total feminist and I seem to really hate guys. I don’t know why and I have some really good guy friends but I will always choose a girl’s side over a guy’s side in a debate, no matter what the subject is, especially if the girl is pretty. I realize this isn’t quite right and I’m working on it.
However, I have a problem and I wanted to know if you girls thought this was normal or if there is something wrong – as in maybe I’m not gay, or not completely and before you ask, no I have never done anything with a woman but I have also never done anything with a man. I’m 18.
So the thing is, I can get excited looking at a girl or thinking of doing things with a girl but when I masturbate, to get off, I need to think of a guy having really rough sex with a girl. Is there something wrong with me? I don’t think this is normal!
Any advice or thoughts? Anything would help, thanks a lot!
Am I? Aren’t I? I Am So Confused!
well, I am a 15 year old girl (I don’t know if I’m too young to be on this site but whatever) and I have found myself having strange feelings concerning women. They are very similar to the ones I get when I think about boys… but different. I don’t know if it’s just a phase, or if I only find myself attracted to certain women, or if I just think they’re hot but don’t want to do them.
When my friends and I look in fashion magazines especially the bikini specials, I find myself drawn to boobs, ass and hips while everyone else is commenting on the bikini, I have to keep quite in case I blurt out something…
I feel a bit uncomfortable telling my friends, the only one I have told is my gay friend and he said he felt the same way at first, and that the only way I will know if am lesbian, bi is to have a sexual encounter with a girl, but being 15 and a virgin… I’m not sure if I want to do that.
I just don’t know what to think? I don’t know what to do?
First of all, I’m not so good in English. Hope U can understand even if sometimes my words turn upside down, lol.
I have a problem, keep messing with my mind. I’m a closet lesbian, no one knows I am. But I ever had a relationship with a girl, but then we broke up because she actually already have bf… and I feel like I’m not really into her… maybe just to fill my loneliness and it was her who bravely said she loved me. There’re many girls attracted to me but I ignored them because I want to concentrate on my studies & don’t want to slip into any problems anymore with this kind of relationship. Oh… for your information, I’m quite boyish & I looked ‘handsome and charming’ – that’s what they said.
But, when I finished my studies & started working, I changed my appearance to a very feminine side (but my cool is still in), tried to change my life. Anyway, I still didn’t have feeling for boys but no relationships with girl too. The problem occurred when I met this woman (she’s already married with 2 sons). At 1st sight, I didn’t feel anything. But after several meetings, I felt something had bloomed between us. I started to confuse & suffer with the feeling.
Actually, the way she acted caused me headache. I don’t have any clue does she loves me or not. She get closer to me day by day but one day, I made a mistake by ignoring her once (only once), & she keep avoiding me after that… really strange. she looks angry but at the same time she seems wants me to get jealous of her by getting closer with my other friend…It hurts me, not because I’m jealous but because she avoid me, didn’t want to look at me, & didn’t reply me when I’m talking. But I keep talking to her & she started to talk to me after I tried so hard. At 1st, she looked shy & always smiles when talking to me. After that, we became friends as usual and at that time she left my friend… obviously she was only trying to make me jealous.
I’m still confused if she loves me or not. Here is the situation, she treated me n my friends dinner, & my friends get a little surprise because she never treat them before (actually I’m a new worker there). N then there was one boy came to my life, from friends recommendation and she found out, she prevent me to accept him with a reason, go get other handsome man. Actually, I’m not into that boy too. She asked me to hang out again but never got a chance because of work. N she asked me to accompany her to do her work in a very romantic way but I can’t because of work too. She always tried to touch me every time we met. She looks so jealous if I’m with another girl or guy (especially guy)…if she saw it, she won’t speak to me, acts like I’m not there. & there’re many other signs, too long to be told
At the same time, she also made a very opposite signs of attraction. She always mentioned about her husband….I admitted I’m jealous but I won’t show it, I made it like a normal conversation. But the way she tell about her husband was strange…looks like to show off or else to make me jealous once again. She only mentions about her husband in front of me……what’s that mean? I’m suffering with this stuff…don’t know what to do…does she loves me? Or not? But I’m not going to live with her because she has a happy family as I seen. It’s just why does she tortured me like this…plz help me…tell me what did she want? Thank you for your help…
I am a 27 year old female who is beginning to seriously question (or is at the very least curious about) my sexuality. To be truthful, it has never been a topic I have seriously pondered in the past. However, there are some thoughts and that I can no longer seem to push away. But before I begin, however, let me give you more background on myself so you might be best equipped to help me with my “issues”. I apologize up front if my “letter” becomes too long.
To start, I have never had a boyfriend and have also never been on a date. I simply have had no interest. All through my growing-up years (and even into today), I have always made it perfectly clear to family and friends that I have no desire to ever marry. Indeed, I cannot imagine myself ever being with a man in a romantic or sexual relationship period. While a man may appear “attractive” (being where the person possesses admirable qualities – physical/mental/character), I myself do not feel a particular “attraction” to the person in a sexual/romantic way (if that in anyway makes sense).
Until a few years ago, I classified myself as heterosexual (despite the fact that I neither have nor wanted to date, a boyfriend, etc.). Yet, it was the only description that I had ever even considered. Then, I began classifying myself as asexual (for convenience and because I truly don’t feel I can classify myself as necessarily heterosexual). It was around this time that I was discussing sexuality with a close cousin of mine. This individual happened to ask me at the time whether I had ever experienced romantic/sexual feelings toward persons of the same sex. I responded no, yet even then I began to question my response.
A few years have passed since then and I have at times thought about that question. I know that there have been times where I have felt a strong attraction or feelings towards a few female friends (and admittedly had the desire to kiss) yet have resisted the urges. I have always pushed those feelings out of my mind telling myself I shouldn’t think of that. I find certain females attractive and to whom I have an attraction. There is also this desire to be with someone. I have been thinking more and more of what it would be like with another female.
Yet, in all this, I am questioning the legitimacy of my feelings. I am wondering if they are truly emotions I have or whether I just want to feel this way? Also, I am questioning whether or not I have really had attractions towards these friends over the years. Finally, perhaps I am just convincing myself that I will have no interest in men and maybe I should force myself out of my comfort zone and perhaps I’ll find that I’m actually intersted. It has taken me many days since discovering your website to get up the nerve to write this letter because part of me feels like a fool. Yet, there is also some relief in writing this letter and getting these emotions (real or all in-the-head) out into the open. I am not asking for anyone to tell me what my sexuality is (or is not) and I hesitate to even classify myself at all anymore. I am just hoping that perhaps somewhere out there someone can empathize with my feelings and sense of confusion and that my thoughts were not too garbled. Thank-you to those who are willing to read and respond to this posting.
Side note: This is a topic I am addressing on this forum because it is not one I can discuss with 95% + of my family and close friends – without risking severing ties with most/all.
So So Confused
Well um hi to all, here’s my story I guess. Well I’m 17 and I found out I was lez or bi I when I was 15. The first girl I liked was great and beautiful and all but seeing her in a different light scared the crap out of me, see for awhile even before actually figuring it out myself I guess I was always attracted to girls more than guys just admiring the beauty. But then came along this girl that twisted my world upside down at the time she was 15. I never felt anything close to what I felt for her. I was immediately attracted to her and we hit it off pretty well.
I was one of her first friends in the program we were in. We got pretty close in the first months of our friendship but after awhile I couldn’t handle being around her without wanting to attack her. So after 2 months I told her I liked her and wondered if I had any chance with her. She responded that she only wanted to be friends. That was one of the most painful moments in my short life. I was pretty down and a lil angry because wither she knew it or not she flirted wit me constantly. So we decided to stay friends but I began to distance myself away from her slowly.
Summer came around and since we were in the same program we had to spend six weeks together with 40 or so others both boys and girls at a camp. I hadn’t talked to her in over 2 weeks so I didn’t know what to expect. Bedtime came around and all the girls slept in the same room; there were bunk beds spread throughout the room I choose one close to one of my best friends who I met a year before in the program while she slept at the complete opposite side of the room than me. I was okay with that and it keeps my nerves calm. So throughout the program I avoided her a lot bout a fourth way thru she noticed and started to try to hang around me more often which, if any of u can relate, was torturous. Half way thru she decided to change beddings and come to the bed to the right of me to sleep. Needless to say the last part of camp at night was rough, but what really confused me was how she acted around me when we were alone. This one time I was running upstairs to grab something from my room and she was coming down I almost ran into her, but I got to tell u this girl was around 5’2 to my 5’7, so I stopped myself in time then looked down her light brown eyes were piercing thru mine I could actually feel her breath on my chin, her eyes were questioning as she took a tiny step forward her head tilted upward. I swear that was a very intense moment, my nerves were getting to me and I knew she was teasing me or something but some how I managed to step side ways and run up the stairs. Cant say that was the last time stuff like that happened just that was the most intense. Anyway other events happened that I don’t really want to explain but the program ended for the summer and me and her friendship was severed badly I cut it off not wanting anymore heartbreak.
I just didn’t understand why she would put me through all that and just play with my emotions. Some how she became my friend again and she still confused the hell out of me so I agreed to still be her friend though like at the beginning I distanced my self it was easier because she lived in a different town than me but the feelings would go away that told me that she liked me too cause we both liked the same things and some things not so much. I know I’m leaving out a lot but I just don’t know what to do, I don’t know how she really feels, but my question to u is should I stay her friend and see where it takes me? Or should I stop being friends before I get hurt anymore?
Is This Normal?
Hey,
Well, I’m pretty sure I’m gay, right. And seeing girls naked or even kiss is really hot and can get me really excited. I love girls and I’m a total feminist and I seem to really hate guys. I don’t know why and I have some really good guy friends but I will always choose a girl’s side over a guy’s side in a debate, no matter what the subject is, especially if the girl is pretty. I realize this isn’t quite right and I’m working on it.
However, I have a problem and I wanted to know if you girls thought this was normal or if there is something wrong – as in maybe I’m not gay, or not completely and before you ask, no I have never done anything with a woman but I have also never done anything with a man. I’m 18.
So the thing is, I can get excited looking at a girl or thinking of doing things with a girl but when I masturbate, to get off, I need to think of a guy having really rough sex with a girl. Is there something wrong with me? I don’t think this is normal!
Any advice or thoughts? Anything would help, thanks a lot!
Am I? Aren’t I? I Am So Confused!
well, I am a 15 year old girl (I don’t know if I’m too young to be on this site but whatever) and I have found myself having strange feelings concerning women. They are very similar to the ones I get when I think about boys… but different. I don’t know if it’s just a phase, or if I only find myself attracted to certain women, or if I just think they’re hot but don’t want to do them.
When my friends and I look in fashion magazines especially the bikini specials, I find myself drawn to boobs, ass and hips while everyone else is commenting on the bikini, I have to keep quite in case I blurt out something…
I feel a bit uncomfortable telling my friends, the only one I have told is my gay friend and he said he felt the same way at first, and that the only way I will know if am lesbian, bi is to have a sexual encounter with a girl, but being 15 and a virgin… I’m not sure if I want to do that.
I just don’t know what to think? I don’t know what to do?
Well um hi to all, here’s my story I guess. Well I’m 17 and I found out I was lez or bi I when I was 15. The first girl I liked was great and beautiful and all but seeing her in a different light scared the crap out of me, see for awhile even before actually figuring it out myself I guess I was always attracted to girls more than guys just admiring the beauty. But then came along this girl that twisted my world upside down at the time she was 15. I never felt anything close to what I felt for her. I was immediately attracted to her and we hit it off pretty well.
I was one of her first friends in the program we were in. We got pretty close in the first months of our friendship but after awhile I couldn’t handle being around her without wanting to attack her. So after 2 months I told her I liked her and wondered if I had any chance with her. She responded that she only wanted to be friends. That was one of the most painful moments in my short life. I was pretty down and a lil angry because wither she knew it or not she flirted wit me constantly. So we decided to stay friends but I began to distance myself away from her slowly.
Summer came around and since we were in the same program we had to spend six weeks together with 40 or so others both boys and girls at a camp. I hadn’t talked to her in over 2 weeks so I didn’t know what to expect. Bedtime came around and all the girls slept in the same room; there were bunk beds spread throughout the room I choose one close to one of my best friends who I met a year before in the program while she slept at the complete opposite side of the room than me. I was okay with that and it keeps my nerves calm. So throughout the program I avoided her a lot bout a fourth way thru she noticed and started to try to hang around me more often which, if any of u can relate, was torturous. Half way thru she decided to change beddings and come to the bed to the right of me to sleep. Needless to say the last part of camp at night was rough, but what really confused me was how she acted around me when we were alone. This one time I was running upstairs to grab something from my room and she was coming down I almost ran into her, but I got to tell u this girl was around 5’2 to my 5’7, so I stopped myself in time then looked down her light brown eyes were piercing thru mine I could actually feel her breath on my chin, her eyes were questioning as she took a tiny step forward her head tilted upward. I swear that was a very intense moment, my nerves were getting to me and I knew she was teasing me or something but some how I managed to step side ways and run up the stairs. Cant say that was the last time stuff like that happened just that was the most intense. Anyway other events happened that I don’t really want to explain but the program ended for the summer and me and her friendship was severed badly I cut it off not wanting anymore heartbreak.
I just didn’t understand why she would put me through all that and just play with my emotions. Some how she became my friend again and she still confused the hell out of me so I agreed to still be her friend though like at the beginning I distanced my self it was easier because she lived in a different town than me but the feelings would go away that told me that she liked me too cause we both liked the same things and some things not so much. I know I’m leaving out a lot but I just don’t know what to do, I don’t know how she really feels, but my question to u is should I stay her friend and see where it takes me? Or should I stop being friends before I get hurt anymore?
Hey,
Well, I’m pretty sure I’m gay, right. And seeing girls naked or even kiss is really hot and can get me really excited. I love girls and I’m a total feminist and I seem to really hate guys. I don’t know why and I have some really good guy friends but I will always choose a girl’s side over a guy’s side in a debate, no matter what the subject is, especially if the girl is pretty. I realize this isn’t quite right and I’m working on it.
However, I have a problem and I wanted to know if you girls thought this was normal or if there is something wrong – as in maybe I’m not gay, or not completely and before you ask, no I have never done anything with a woman but I have also never done anything with a man. I’m 18.
So the thing is, I can get excited looking at a girl or thinking of doing things with a girl but when I masturbate, to get off, I need to think of a guy having really rough sex with a girl. Is there something wrong with me? I don’t think this is normal!
Any advice or thoughts? Anything would help, thanks a lot!
Am I? Aren’t I? I Am So Confused!
well, I am a 15 year old girl (I don’t know if I’m too young to be on this site but whatever) and I have found myself having strange feelings concerning women. They are very similar to the ones I get when I think about boys… but different. I don’t know if it’s just a phase, or if I only find myself attracted to certain women, or if I just think they’re hot but don’t want to do them.
When my friends and I look in fashion magazines especially the bikini specials, I find myself drawn to boobs, ass and hips while everyone else is commenting on the bikini, I have to keep quite in case I blurt out something…
I feel a bit uncomfortable telling my friends, the only one I have told is my gay friend and he said he felt the same way at first, and that the only way I will know if am lesbian, bi is to have a sexual encounter with a girl, but being 15 and a virgin… I’m not sure if I want to do that.
I just don’t know what to think? I don’t know what to do?
well, I am a 15 year old girl (I don’t know if I’m too young to be on this site but whatever) and I have found myself having strange feelings concerning women. They are very similar to the ones I get when I think about boys… but different. I don’t know if it’s just a phase, or if I only find myself attracted to certain women, or if I just think they’re hot but don’t want to do them.
When my friends and I look in fashion magazines especially the bikini specials, I find myself drawn to boobs, ass and hips while everyone else is commenting on the bikini, I have to keep quite in case I blurt out something…
I feel a bit uncomfortable telling my friends, the only one I have told is my gay friend and he said he felt the same way at first, and that the only way I will know if am lesbian, bi is to have a sexual encounter with a girl, but being 15 and a virgin… I’m not sure if I want to do that.
I just don’t know what to think? I don’t know what to do?
