Can Anyone Help A Girl Out, Please?
Just a warning that this may come out all jumbled. A few fleeting thoughts, feelings, whatever you want to call them. In high school, that’s what I thought they were. I was neither bisexual nor a lesbian. How could I be??? Why should I be??? But lately I feel different. I’m now 21, and I have no idea who I really am anymore. Or maybe I know, it’s just difficult for me to understand. Because of things that have happened in my life, I am (at least not at this point) interested in the sexual perks of either a man or a woman. However, I am coming to the point when I feel the need for a companion. Someone who can understand. Who can share a seat on the couch, who I can lean into and onto when I’ve had a good or bad day. When I picture who this person is, I see myself more readily with a woman than a man. Thing is, I’ve only been with one man, and no women, so I often wonder how the heck do I actually know… or does that type of thing just happen?
Two people that I met this summer are the most beautiful together. Some may call them “partners”, but I know they are truly much more, they are wives, they were made for each other. Whenever I see them together, it makes me long for the same thing. But I’m in the middle of BFE, the podunks, prairie grass for miles and closed minds for miles squared. I really just want to experience relationships with women, but I feel very slighted in how to do so. And I only came out (or somewhat) to one friend, who is gay and used to be my best friend. I was just planning on telling my current best friend, when out of nowhere; she brings up this subject about how she doesn’t know how to deal with bisexual or lesbian people… so now I have shrank back up into myself.
This is all a bunch of words, I know, and I apologize. I’ll take any advice, really, but I guess my main questions would be how do I experience these new feelings without even knowing who else is gay? And should I need to talk to someone, I don’t know where to go. Again, sorry for this ramble. I have never written, much less spoken, this to anyone, so it is not the most eloquently spoken. Thanks.
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[...] else out there who is questioning who or what they are, it’s okay. About a month ago, I posted asking for help. I was so confused, I didn’t know what to do. I also felt that I didn’t have anyone [...]
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You poor soul. I recommend seeing if there’s a gay/lesbian counselor in your area, because it sounds like more than anything, you really, really need someone to talk to about your feelings. I don’t know how ot advise you, but I do know I felt exactly the same way (how do I express these feelings if I don’t know who else is gay?)
When I met the right girl, I knew. But that may not help you now, so please try to find someone to talk to who will understand. Who knows? You may be tormenting yourself for nothing. It kind of sounds like you admire the close companionship, and that can be found with both men & women.
i also suggest that you find someone to talk to.
i can relate to what you say about not knowing who else is gay. but in time it will all work out. in time.
try to be happy and talk to someone, any counselor. sounds like you really just need to talk. you will eventually sort it all out.
take it from someone who’s been there. you are still so young. time is the key. take care and try to SMILE!